The Taylor Cheer, Or Why I Blog By Pat Kinsella Herdeg, With Help From Family Members

Pat and Fred--1976

The spring of my senior year in high school was a pivotal time in shaping who I am today. I just did not see it at the time.

It was 1976 in West Irondequoit, NY, a northern suburb of Rochester, NY which hugged the shores of Lake Ontario. At age 18, I was the oldest of the Kinsella children still living at home. The wonderful large, old house on St. Paul Boulevard held Mom and Dad, Tom, Beth, Jim, Chris and me. Our faithful black and white mongrel of a dog, Corky, and Fred the white fighting cat with Siamese markings, were also members of our family.

Tim and Rose were to be married on July 3^rd, 1976. Since this was the Bicentennial of America, I had helpfully told Rose that if she dressed the bridesmaids in red, white and blue flag dresses, the newspapers would have to splash her wedding across the front pages. She did not take my advice. But, we so looked forward to that wedding!

Then, in early springtime, Mom went into the hospital to have surgery for colon cancer. I should have been more scared for her, but with the false surety of youth, I KNEW she would get better. Beth remembers that during the operation, Mom heard “Oh, this looks bad. We are going to lose her.” Once Mom was fully awake and could respond, she piped up in great irritation, "I have eight kids. I am NOT going anywhere." Now THAT is my Mom!

Mom was inundated with cards and food and good wishes from friends and family. The mailman seemed to arrive daily with a stoop, straightened fully by the time he had dropped off all of the cards for Mom.

Mom was getting better. Life for a high school senior about to graduate was getting back to normal.

In late April, it was Men’s Weekend at Otty Lake, so all of the men, including Dad and my brothers and 

Uncle Dick Lochner and his sons, were in Canada at our cottage. Aunt Esther was on her way over to our house as it was only the girls left in Rochester.  She was late, and then Mom got a call from the State Police; Aunt Esther had had a stroke and been in a car accident and was taken to the hospital.

Aunt Esther

Mom and Aunt Joanie (Uncle Dick’s sister whom the State Police had also called) drove straight to the hospital, and I attempted to reach the Otty Lake crew. When Uncle Dick was finally told, he and all the Lochner boys rushed home. In fact, they deliberately drove way over the speed limit as they raced down Route 81, hoping for a Police escort, but no luck.

Mom seemed to live at the hospital. On Tuesday, April 27^th, our much beloved, compassionate, and beautiful Aunt Esther died.

Friday the 30^th of April was Aunt Esther’s funeral. At the funeral, Uncle Dick, remembering that Esther had loved a singer at a recent wedding singing ‘How Great Thou Art’ asked that singer to sing the hymn at her funeral. I remember the funeral was packed with family, cousins, friends --we were all in shock that this could happen. Aunt Esther was taken from us much too young.

Aunt Esther and Uncle Dick, 1972

The next day was Charlie Hawkes’ and Mary Ann Cannon’s wedding in Lockport, NY. 

We all ached for Aunt Doris—she had just buried a sister and now her son was getting married the very

next day. After Aunt Esther’s funeral— everyone gathered back in the Lochner’s kitchen. While we ate and talked and cried, everyone wrestled with the difficult emotions of tragedy and celebration colliding. We decided we would all go to Charlie and Mary's wedding as a way to support Aunt Doris. Then everyone from her side of the family would be in a similar situation, so happy for the wedding couple while still grieving for Aunt Esther, and that would give some comfort to Aunt Doris, knowing she would be held by others who knew the enormity of how she was feeling.

And, so, everyone who had been at Aunt Esther’s funeral, including Uncle Dick and his sister Aunt Joanie, and Gladys and Sylva Howland, first cousins who had come for Esther’s funeral, also went to the wedding--support for Aunt Doris, support for the Lochners, and support for each other. All generations changed from the dark clothes of the day before to bright cheery clothes. 

 I remember the wedding as a joyful time but still sorrowful, surrounded by young and old in the family--the same people we had just cried with the day before sitting again in church pews, but this time, in happiness and hope in a Lockport, NY church. Then, when one of the singers began singing ‘How Great Thou Art’ for Charlie and Mary, everyone who had just heard it sung at the funeral the day before dissolved into tears.

Charlie Hawkes and Mary Cannon Hawkes

At the reception, we danced on the dance floor. Out of nowhere seemed to burst a spontaneous circle of cousins—‘Give me a T, Give me an A, Give me a Y, Give me an L, Give me an O, Give me an R. What does it spell? TAYLOR! What does it spell? TAYLOR!’ Who led the cheer? In my mind, it was me. But, it was a long time ago and I could be changing memories. A few more rousing times with the cheer and we felt some of our emotions lifting from us.

And so the Taylor Cheer was born. Looking back, we so needed a chance to cheer and dance and yell—to say that yes, we were still here (holding Aunt Esther in our hearts) and yes, we were here TOGETHER. It was so powerful and life affirming after the day before.

My sister Sue remembers that during the wedding and reception, there was an “enormously complex and 

deep range of emotions all roiling us at the same time, and it's that that resulted in the cathartic release of joy in family solidarity that was the Taylor Cheer. I remember it as a very powerful experience, and one that made me feel proud to be in the midst of this messy, crazy, hurting, loving family.”

 Taylor Cheer at Tim and Rose's Wedding, July 1976

Andy Hay and Pat Kinsella, July 1976

It is not every day that modern life so pointedly shows you how precious life can be—the funeral of such a beloved aunt on Friday, and the wedding of a zany but also beloved cousin the next day. The singing of ‘How Great Thou Art’ at both the funeral and the wedding? More than coincidence.

Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works thy hand hath made,
I see the stars, I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed;

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Perhaps it was God’s way of saying ‘Pay attention! You are all in this together!’ Through it all, the same family there to support, to grieve, to celebrate as one.

The Taylor Cheer was again on display that July at Tim and Rose’s wedding, and as I remember, for many weddings after.

I was recently telling my cousin Ted Lochner that I was going to the funeral of Glenn’s cousin in Delaware—again, a cousin who died far too young. Over the phone line I could hear Ted’s booming and joyful voice “Family Reunion Time!”

 I answered, “I know! But Glenn’s family doesn’t see it that way. Most of them are not coming.”

Ted got quiet for a moment and then said, “Pat, that is ONE thing we have learned, haven’t we? We’re all in this together.”

Many of you wonder why I keep doing this blog. I think it had a lot to do with that spring of 1976. Over the years, I felt like I lost track of many of you—my fault totally as I lived my life. But, now, I want you back. I do know how important family is, whether we are siblings or fourth cousins once removed.

I can still see us more than thirty-five years ago-- twirling, shouting, cheering and collapsing into a huge cousins’ hug on the dance floor. In my mind’s eye, we are doing the Taylor Cheer, we are doing the Baker Cheer, and as we finish with a great flourish and hug, we are surrounded by other, mostly unseen, cousins and grandparents, aunts and uncles, gone now but still supporting, still guiding, still loving us. It is their stories, as well as all of ours, that I hope to keep telling on this cousins blog.

Love you all.

Pat Kinsella Herdeg, 2012