Where do you go when stressed, depressed, afraid, trying to hold on for one more minute? For many of us cousins, it is to places in our mind’s eye, locales we once knew, or places we hope to visit:
Beth Kinsella Sakanishi, Who Lives in Japan:
I was watching an episode of the TV show ‘The Middle’ (set in Indiana, maybe?), and they mentioned ‘Stuckey’s,’ which I am guessing is a restaurant chain perhaps only in the Midwest. But it brought it back all these fun memories of our trip out west in 1971.
We used to stop at Stuckey’s because if we used the connected gas station to fill up our camper, then we got a free Stuckey’s cinnamon swirl package for every ten gallons we needed. Since our vehicle was humungous, and we waited until we were pretty low on gas, we almost always got enough of the swirls for each and every kid. I still think about this when I see a similar snack here in Japan, and it always makes me smile.
It also brings to mind one of the places I ‘go to’ in my head when I am stressed or blue or just need a place to escape to — the KOA campsite that is in the wonderful photo of Jim and Chris.
It does not even have to be a place to go to for an ‘escape’. I sometimes have trouble falling asleep and when I do, one of the things I do is go on these ‘memory treks,’ to places I love. I will, for instance, ‘walk’ up to the mailbox at our summer place at Otty Lake in Canada. I think I do this, when there are other places I could ‘visit’ at the
cottage, like the pasture, perhaps because this was a ritual we did when we expected visitors and knew approximately what time they would arrive. We’d all walk up to the mailbox, so we would see them that much sooner! I suppose I am going ‘to meet family’ in some way, when I go on that walk in my head, lying on our futon in our tatami mat room, in Japan.
When I asked Takeshi ( her husband) where
he went, he said “Nagano,” as I expected. I knew he loves the place he was
born. The mountain scenery, the small town he grew up in, the character traits
of the people who lived there — this is quite different from where we live now,
and who would not want to go back to a place, a time, you were happy?
It is like me recalling that one perfect spot on the campus of the University of Washington, where you have just walked through an avenue scented by the pine trees lining the path, and come out to the plaza facing the library, look to your right and see, catching your breath, Mt. Rainier perfectly framed behind the spray of the fountain in front of you. Oh, my.
Or, it is like ‘Otty’ which is where both Pat and I choose to ‘visit.’ When I asked her where she goes she said “Otty, of course,” but then she said “and I am usually sunning myself on the raft,” which made me laugh as that is one of my places, too, and I could not figure out why, precisely. I mean, I HATE the sun and do my best all summer here avoiding it. But lying on the raft in the sun, lazily soaking up the sun (with nothing like the killer humidity here, just a gentle, fine, dry heat) and once in a while making small talk with the others on the raft — this is one of my places to visit.
Pat Kinsella Herdeg:
Interestingly to me, as the pandemic closed in and we were very much in isolated quarantine, my ‘place to visit’ changed. Now, my ‘go to’ place is instead at Christie Lake, the lake we rented a cottage at when I was quite young. In my mind, Dad and I are rowing the wooden rowboat over to the marina with several empty buckets. At the marina is the pump where Dad will fill up the buckets with our drinking water. How often does he do that? Daily, more? I don’t remember. Again in my mind’s eye, I can see me in the marina store at the counter, putting a few pieces of candy on the counter. Then, we row back.
Pat rowing at Christie Lake
I have always loved rowing. So, now, when I am stressed and need to calm my mind, body and spirit, I imagine I am rowing –3 to 5 years old—at Christie Lake, by Sunfish Bay and around Treasure Island. Sometime Dad is rowing and I am watching, but most of the time, I am slowly rowing through the water, moving forward, making progress…. Perhaps next year I will have a different ‘Go To’ place, but for now, rowing at Christie Lake is where I am sheltering.
Mom, aka Aunt CB Taylor Kinsella:
Where do I go when I
need respite? To my Grandma's farm in Center Lisle, to the back pasture where
there is a small spring and each year we helped Adin [ beloved uncle] clear it
out for cattle to use! We sat around and he would tell us stories of his wife
with the traveling wart and its ilk! (Wonderful stories!!)
Or if not there, at the same farm, in the kitchen near the back window, Grandma kept a cot. The window above shone in all the summer rays and was so warm that it made a perfect place to sleep! As a kid, I loved it there!
Pat Kinsella Herdeg:
Mom gave me two very large boxes filled with genealogy, and other treasures. I am just beginning to dig in.
However, this letter from Mom's sister Doris 22 years ago jumped out at me as it is ALMOST what we have been following on this thread.
In 1995, Reader's Digest suggested: 'Make a list of favorite things that impact the senses--sounds, smells, etc.' Doris or (.) to Mom (Dot), wrote out her list and then instructed Mom to write out her own list, without reading what Doris wrote down so that they could see how many were similar. Dutiful younger sister that she was, I am SURE Mom/Grandma followed explicitly!
Doris Taylor Hawkes
Aunt Doris' list:
- Hum of voices, rhythm of rocking chairs in the evening as Mom talks with friends on the porch in Geneva
- Grandma calling Adin in for breakfast
- Grandma and Mom talking as they fix breakfast while us kids are still upstairs in bed
- Crunch of footsteps on a bitter cold winter night
- Early morning fog hovering over hilly countryside
- Smell of burning leaves in fall
- Rain on trailer roof when camping
- Frogs, crickets, night sounds be river while camping
- Loon calling over lake
- Sound of my children or grandchildren laughing and
reminiscing
Aunt CB Taylor Kinsella
Mom's list:
- Sound of Grandma Baker's back door closing
- Cows mooing to be milked--4 to 5PM
- Pickling time at Aunt Lil's store
- Smell of burning leaves
- Sound of loons calling
- Feel of warm sun on my body at Grandma Baker's
- Smell of freshly bathed baby
- Clumps of Mom's daffodils
- Ran on the buggery roof
- Frogs and crickets at Grandma's cottage
As you can see, they do have many that are almost the same! And, Mom does go back to Center Lisle in many of her favorite memories.
Tom Kinsella:
I think of the early summer at the cottage (I am guessing that I was 12 or 13) when it was super hot for a stretch. Our not too dependable thermometer read 110 F at times. I remember some of us took folding lawn chairs out into the lake — on the right side of the dock when we had that cleaned out nicely, set our chairs in about 3 feet of water, and just stayed cool in the heat.
Beth: The same part that impressed you, Tom, struck me. I remember those chairs in the water — it is one of those times that Dad, you would have said as we lolled around, water lapping at our feet, “I wonder what the peasants are doing?” ;-)
Cousin Harold Livingston Spencer, grandson of Anna Carson Spencer (sister of Emma Carson Taylor, my great grandmother) writes:
Great idea about what correspondents and family members do during these trying times. Let me add a slight memory and at times, wishful thinking. Since I’m now at an age when I can no longer enjoy my favorite hobbies of trout fishing (cannot walk the trout streams any longer with arthritic joints and bum knees), fly-tying (poor eyesight), long-range target shooting (poor eyesight again), and reading for hours on end (poor eyesight a 3rd time), I am most happy now to be able to see what my computer screen comes up with - sometimes a complete surprise.
All in all, though, it’s the memories of great times past with family members, relatives and old friends. That’s one good reason I am still involved with genealogical research whenever I have the chance. Been at it for 46 years.
Diana Taylor McCarty:
I find myself reflecting on smaller memories. I remember visiting Grandma and Grandpa's house in Waterloo. If we stayed long enough on Sunday, supper was a bowl of popcorn and milk ....anyone know the history or that?
My mom, Maria, always made a big deal of putting our beach stuff and swim suits
in the car....in case we were out somewhere and found an opportunity to go
swimming.
I find the small memories a welcome respite from pandemic isolation.
Sue Kinsella:
I’m up at the Birches on a warm summer night and go down to the dock. It is pitch black but it’s also a clear night. I am awed to see all the stars in the sky reflected in the lake. So I slide into the water and swim through the stars. If I want to go further, I get the canoe and paddle through the stars out into the larger lake, where the whole sky shimmers around me.
Montmartre Metro station
I had been in Paris before, but it was only on my visit a year and a half ago that I really got that Paris is made up of little villages. In fact they WERE separate rural villages a couple hundred years ago, until they joined into one big town in the 1800s. So now I go back over the several different “villages” that I spent time walking through and sitting at their cafes, and imagine exploring even more of the village neighborhoods that connect to those.
How magical, that we have these ‘rooms’ in our minds to visit.
What, I wonder, is yours? Where do you all go?
Stay safe, stay healthy. We are getting there! Thinking of all of my cousins and family!
